memorize

i have been doing a lot of memorizing lately. especially when it comes to zella. i am trying to memorize how it feels to hold her little hand when we are in a parking lot, or when we are in the mall. or anywhere we are holding hands. it's amazing how something so small as holding someone"s hand, can be to me. i remember when my dad had his heart attack, and we were waiting in the emergency waiting room. my mom, my sister and i sat for hours just holding hands. i remember the comfort it gave me, just knowing that they were there next to me. and feeling their hands in mine was a sense of peace.
charlie held my hand when i was in labor with zella. it was a small way to telling me that charlie was right there with me. that i wasn't doing it alone. well, i was, but you know what i mean.
when zella was a baby, charlie would hold her hand when she was tired, or fussy, or cuddling on the couch. as she has gotten older, she still holds his hand on the couch, while they watch a movie. when she is sick, he holds her hand until she falls asleep. i have found them holding hands, both asleep, in the middle of the night. the other night, i was falling asleep with zella, and she rolled over, she reached out for my hand. and this melted my heart.
so i have been trying to memorize her hands.
jill b