03.08.2012

i went to my parents house yesterday. i asked my dad how he was doing and he said good. i asked him what he has been up to that day and he told me that mom and him had just got home. they have been traveling. i said that sounds good. now i know that they have not gone traveling. mom is still working and has a few more weeks until she retires. so we talked about it's fun to travel, but it is always nice to come home. he agreed with me.

so i started thinking about how i do like to leave and go on a holiday. but no matter how great of a time i have when i am gone, i love to come home. there is something about sleeping in your own bed, using your own pillows and blankets. using your own shower with all of your soaps and goodies where you want them and not have to pack things up when your done. i love the comfort and appreciation i have when i am back home. grateful that i was able to go on a trip and do something that i loved. i am grateful that i have a nice house to come home to. glad to be back around all of the people that i love.

this dementia robs people of their memories. of all of the little details that makes your life yours. i see my dad's frustration with not being able to remember things. like when mom will be home from work. or what town he is now in. his latest thing is believing that he is at a vacation home. when i was talking to my sister about this. she said "i would rather him believe he is at a vacation home, than at a retirement home." and i think she is 100% right. and a great way to put it. i would also like to believe that he is on vacation and he will return home to us at any point. but i know that is not going to happen. we have been blessed the last 7 years to have him around. i remember the doctors at the mayo hospital, telling me and mom that he shouldn't have survived his heart attack. so the fact that we have him right now is a miracle. all frosting...

so getting back to the conversation my dad and i had about his recient traveling, i hope he is feeling what i feel when i come home from a trip. the happiness i feel to be back at home. to be comfortable and cozy, and totally loved. because that is how feel when i walk in my parents front door.