happy birthday zella marie!

today, 4 years ago, this amazing little girl joined charlie and i and made us a little family. words can not even express, at any level, how blessed we are to have her as our little girl. there are so many things that i love about her. she is sweet, thoughtful, smart, funny, healthy... she is full of life. and brings pure joy to us every day. thank you so much for being you!

yesterday, we went to the park to play. all the way to the park, she told me how happy she would be if she could find another little girl to play with. this was all she could talk about on the drive over to the park. when we got there, there were lots of kids to play with. i watched her as she looked around the playground to find a playmate. she found a group of little girls, maybe 4 or 5 of them. she smiled at me and said she was going to see if they wanted to play with her. she hopped on over to the girls, and i heard her say "can i play with you?" (charlie and i have been working with her and her extreme shyness around other kids, charlie has been trying to get her to introduce herself and then ask if she can play with them...) the girls, who were probably a little bit older than her, looked at her and ran off without her. her shoulders fell, she hung her head and with the saddest face, came back over to me and in the tiniest voice said "they don't want to play with me". she wrapped her little arms around my legs and buried her little face. i managed to wiggle down to where we were hugging. i patted her head while i was rubbing her back. my heart broke, and her sadness became my sadness. my first thought was i should walk her back over to the little girls and ask if she could play with them. but i didn't. i thought that this would be a good opportunity for her to learn how sad you can be when you are not included with the "in" crowd. without saying anything, just holding her, and feeling her broken heart. i thought that i want her to be "that" girl who understands that it is not everything to be in with the popular crowd, to include those who are left out. i want her to be "that" girl that gives everyone a chance to play. i want her to be "that" girl who asks if she can sit by the new kid at lunch. i want her to be "that" girl who stands up for those who are made fun of. i want her to be "that" girl who makes friends with all, not just the popular kids. now all of this thinking happened in about a 1 to 2 min. interval. i told her that sometimes the other kids won't want to play with her, and that it feels bad when you are not accepted. i told her that maybe she shouldn't let those girls ruin her trip to the park, and that maybe she could find someone else to play with. someone else that would love to play with her. she loosened her hug and turned around to see if there were any other little girls to play with. she saw a little girl all by herself. she asked me if i thought that maybe she would like to play with her. i said why don't you go and ask her. she took a breath and bounced over to her and said "can i play with you?" the other little girl smiled and jumped up, grabbed her hand and off they ran to climb up ladders, run across bridges and zoom down slides. i stood there smiling and the tears ran down my face. i was so proud of her, and while i was standing there crying and full of pride, i heard the other little girl say, "come on friend..."

i think zella is already becoming "that" girl!

she makes me so happy!

i love you!

mommy